What the future may bring
by Animaltalker
Summary: Olivia is contemplating a change in her life, will one of her colleagues help her with her plans?
1. Olivia's proposition

Olivia drummed her fingers on the tabletop, took another sip of her coffee and checked her watch again. He wasn't late; she was just early and nervous. It had taken her a long time to come to this decision and even longer to decide whom to ask. She hoped he didn't laugh in her face or worse, think that she was somehow making fun of him. She'd been slowly coming to the conclusion that she was never going to find the perfect mate and her biological clock was beginning to tick so loudly that it was about all she could hear.

'Ah, there he is, I'd know that fedora anywhere, hardly anyone wears hats anymore and no one wears them with such panache as John Munch'.

His long slim legs ate up the distance from the door of the café to where Olivia sat in mere moments and soon he was seated across from her.

"So lovely lady what did you want to see me about?" he asked. Just then the waitress, as though by magic, appeared and placed a small carafe of hot water, a cup and saucer and a selection of tea bags at John's elbow. He thanked her and then smiled at Olivia knowing she must have prearranged the show of service.

"Boy, whatever you want, you must think you really need to butter me up to get me to agree," John said with a quirky smile as he began the ritual of brewing his morning tea.

"Well, I'm really hoping you'll say yes to my proposition."

"A proposition, eh? Well, what man can resist being propositioned by a beautiful lady?" he asked. He was obviously in a good mood maybe that would play into her hand.

She gave him a nervous smile and huff that might have passed for a laugh.

"So, what is it? You want me to go in with you on some business deal or something like that?" he asked.

"No it's not a business proposition," she answered, stalling.

"OK, not business, ah I know, your 20th high school reunion is coming up and you want me to escort you, right? Pretend to be some rich cat you've lassoed?" John suggested, as he peeked at her over his colored glasses.

Olivia couldn't help but be amused by him.

"No, that's not it, though when it comes up, and it's coming up sooner than I'd like to admit, I might take you up on that," Olivia answered

John decided his tea had probably steeped long enough, and so poured himself a cup and contemplated how he wanted to doctor it, if he did at all.

"So if it's not a business deal and it's not pretending to be your rich date at your High School reunion, then what is it?' he asked, pretending to be impatient.

Olivia decided the best thing to do was just spit it out, and see how he took it.

As he waited for Olivia to make her request of him, John took his first swallow of tea.

"I want you to father my child," Olivia declared.

John coughed and sputtered, having inhaled some of the tea. Olivia pounded him on the back.

"Are you OK?" she asked.

"I'm not sure, I thought I heard you ask me to father your child," John said, implying that perhaps there was something wrong with him, given what he thought he had heard.

"Well, there's nothing wrong with your hearing. I did ask you to father my child," she assured him.

"I see," John said noncommittally.

"Well?" she asked.

"Well, uhm, I suspect you've thought about this for a while, no?" John asked.

"Yes, I've given it very careful consideration," she assured him.

"Well, then you will understand if I say I'd like to think about it too?" John asked suddenly much more quiet and thoughtful than he'd been.

"Yes, of course, and if there's anything you want to talk about just let me know," she said.

"Yeah, uh let's order some breakfast and then I'll walk you to the stationhouse," he offered.

"Yeah, OK," she said and wondered what was going through his mind.


	2. Waiting for Answers

John was finding it a bit difficult to concentrate, as his mind was constantly circling around Olivia's proposition and the various questions it had spawned. First and foremost in his mind was why him? Weren't there other men in her life she could ask? He could understand her not asking Elliot. He already had four children he was responsible for, and she and Elliot already shared a special bond that could become too close if she were carrying his child. He supposed he could always ask her point blank, she did say she'd answer questions. The thing was that wasn't the question that was bothering him the most.

What was really bothering him, was why he didn't have a child of his own already. He'd been married enough times to make it a squad trivia question. And while his last marriage hadn't really lasted as long as some of his better vacations, his first three marriages had been long enough that they might have been expected to bear some fruit, especially considering he'd never done anything about contraception. Of course his lovely brides might have, and just never have told him. He wouldn't have put that past either Maria or Nancy, but he sort of doubted it in Gwen's case. She just wasn't that way. Gwen was his first wife, and he'd been married to her the longest. Their marriage was good up to the last 6 months or so, despite the fact that her mother loathed him, never thought he was good enough for her daughter, which when he thought back on it was probably true.

John sighed; he wasn't getting any work done. He needed to get this question settled, and then he could move on to the other issues and give Olivia an answer, one way or the other. Suddenly a name came to him, Jacob Cohen, a doctor he'd known since the guy was a med student and he was supposedly a journalist. Jake was now a specialist in what he called 'men's plumbing'. Jake had been practicing in New York for quite sometime now. John would give Jake a call and see if he couldn't fit him in his schedule today as a favor.

Olivia had been watching John all morning; she could tell he was preoccupied, probably trying to decide how to let her down easily. She should never have put him in this position, but he seemed like the perfect choice. He was intelligent, and despite his tendency to hypochondria, he was actually very healthy, and he was also one of her favorite people. She loved his sense of humor and both his passion and compassion. She truly thought he'd make the perfect sperm donor, and if he wanted to be a part of her child's life, she'd be OK with that, because she wasn't worried about the two of them becoming romantically involved, and then things getting messy. She knew he didn't have romantic feelings for her, and she didn't feel that way about him either. Oh she loved him all right, and she suspected he loved her too, but not in that manner.

John suddenly got up and headed toward the interrogation room. Olivia wasn't the only one startled by his sudden movement.

"What's up partner?" Fin asked.

"Huh, oh nothing much, just remembered a phone call I wanted to make, prefer to make it in private, that's all," Munch answered and he headed on into the interrogation room.

John impatiently waited for someone at Jake's office to answer.

"Dr Cohen's Office, how may I help you?" the receptionists voice said.

"Is Dr. Cohen in?" John asked.

"Yes he is, but he's very busy today, may I ask who's calling?" she asked.

"Tell him it's John Munch, if he's not sure who that is, tell him, I'm that skinny reporter he knew back when he was in med school, I think he'll remember," John said.

"Alright, please hold," she said.

John fidgeted as he waited for his old acquaintance to come on the line.

"John, you old pothead, how you doing?" a jolly male voice asked.

"Fine Jake," John answered with a laugh. It had been a while since anyone who really knew for fact that he'd been a heavy marijuana user had greeted him like that, and for some reason it amused him.

"So what can I do for you? Are you having 'plumbing' problems?" Jacob asked.

"Uh, no not really, but I could use your professional help on something," John answered.

"So what's going on?" Jacob asked.

John quickly explained about Olivia's proposition and his misgivings about his own fertility.

"So you want to make sure you aren't shooting blanks, is that it?" Jacob asked.

"Yeah, I mean if I agree to help Olivia out, I want to make sure I'm not making an empty promise," John answered.

"Well, it's easy enough to check. You have to abstain for 3 to 5 days and then you can just drop by my office, give a sample, and the lab will check your sperm count, motility and morphology. It won't take long, well, unless it takes you a long time to come up with the goods," his buddy teased.

"I'm sure it'll take me as long as it does most guys," John said, refusing to rise to the bait. "Uh, a little embarrassing to admit, but I could do this today, if you could fit me in."

"Ok. I won't rub it in that you can do it so quickly. You drop by anytime today before 5, I'll tell my office staff to be expecting you, and they'll work you in," he paused a beat and then continued, "and John, no fair busting me for the videos and magazines in the room we have clients use for giving their samples, OK?"

"I'm Special Victims, not Vice," John answered pretending to take offense.

"OK, see you later," Dr. Cohen said before hanging up.

After Dr. Cohen hung up, he thought about his old friend John Munch. He wondered how much John had his heart set on fathering this friend's child, because knowing his area of specialization, and John's past as he did, he was afraid John might be in for some disappointment. He hoped the young lady had a back up plan, or that he was wrong in his suspicions.

John redialed Cohen's office number to ask the office staff if they were open over the lunch hour, they assured him they were, but that it was their busiest time for sample collection. John decided to arrange for an early lunch break because waiting was vexing him.

As John headed back to work he thought about his lunchtime errand. The embarrassment one felt about handing over a urine sample at the doctor's office was nothing compared to handing over a sperm sample. He hoped the flush had disappeared from his face by the time he got to the stationhouse.

Everyone looked at Munch as he entered the squad room, or at least it seemed that way to him.

"What? What's everyone looking at?" he asked in a challenging tone.

"Nothing," Elliot answered for everyone.

"You feeling guilty about something, partner?" Fin asked.

"No, of course not," Munch answered, but he glanced at Olivia.

John sat down and pretended to be very busy with paperwork. Thankfully, he got a phone call from Casey Novak; she wanted John to come over to One Hogan Place to go over some testimony for an upcoming trial. John was grateful for the excuse to get out of the squad room for a while, and if he was honest with himself, he was also grateful for the excuse to see Casey.

As he drove to One Hogan place John's mind played host to an internal debate. He'd like to talk to Casey about Olivia's proposition, though he wasn't sure he should. If the test results showed he could father a child for Olivia, and if he decided to do it, he still didn't know if Olivia would want the paternity of the child to be made public, that was one of those things he and Olivia hadn't discussed yet, but definitely needed to. He could talk to Casey about it in an anonymous sort of way, but eventually she'd put two and two together, and John felt uncomfortable about that, almost guilty.

His feelings for Casey disturbed him. He'd made up his mind that he was done with romantic entanglements, they always ended badly for him or the woman he got involved with, but then he met Casey. She was way too young for him, but …

One Hogan Place came into view, thankfully cutting off his internal debate. John pushed the thoughts away and made himself concentrate on the case, and keeping Casey from realizing anything was a miss.

br / After about an hour's worth of work on John's upcomig testimony covering every possible nuance he took his leave of the beautiful redheaded ADA, Casey got up and watched John walk down the corridor. When she could no longer see him, she closed the door. She wondered what was weighing on his mind. It hurt her to think anything was bothering John. She didn't know when it had happened, but she'd fallen in love with the lanky, cynical detective. She did know when she finally faced the fact, when she saw him risk his career for Amy Solwey. When she recognized that what she felt was jealousy towards the extremely ill woman that John was trying to help, she realized she had to be in love with him. Nothing else could explain such pettiness on her part.

Casey tried not to make her feelings for John too obvious, because she had picked up the distinct impression that he was off romance, and given his history who could blame him. She sighed and smiled to herself, no one would think she was giving up a great catch anyway; he was way older than her and divorced 4 times. She should probably concentrate on one of the young hotshot lawyers, but she found them deadly dull, especially when compared to an intellectual like John Munch.

Upon John's return to the squad, Fin waved a phone message at him. "Dr. Cohen's office called, said the doc wanted to see you at the office at 5:30. You having some health problems, bro?"

"Huh?" John asked distractedly as he took the message. "No, Dr. Cohen's an old friend from Baltimore, he relocated his practice up here a while back and I'm going meet him for drinks that's all," John answered, rationalizing that his answer wasn't quite a lie. He didn't have a health problem and he probably would take Jake out for a drink after they talked about the test results.

br /

It was going to seem like forever before 5:30 came.

br /


	3. Answers Pt 1

Olivia watched John put his files away, shut down his computer and grab his coat and fedora. He said his goodbyes perfunctorily and let his long thin legs propel him out of the stationhouse. She sighed and decided there was nothing she could do, but wait until he was ready to give her an answer; pestering him wasn't going to help. She felt like a drink, but not alone, yet the company of her partner or Fin just didn't appeal. As she picked up her coat, she pulled out her cell phone and hit a certain speed dial number.

"Casey? Hey, how about meeting me for a drink?" she asked. Casey suggested the usually watering hole and soon Olivia was off to commiserate with a fellow Lady Defender of Justice, at least that's how she thought of her.

John returned to Dr. Jacob Cohen's office to receive the news. The receptionist who had seen him there earlier recognized him. She had apparently been made aware that he was a personal friend of the doctor's, as she treated him with what John felt was an extra degree of deference. He was escorted past waiting patients to Jacob's office. John almost did a double take when he entered the office, as somehow his brain had conjured up an image of Jake as he had known him a quarter of a century ago, since then most of their contact had been over the phone or in notes tucked into holiday greeting cards, written, he suspected, by Jake's wife.

"That bad, huh?" Jake asked seeing the shock on John's face.

"No, not really, it's just I forgot to add about 25 years on to the last time I actually saw you," John answered.

"Well, other than the grey in your hair, the change in the way you're styling it and your choice in clothes, you haven't changed a bit. Haven't gained an ounce either, I see." Jake said as he reached out to give John a handshake and hold John's arm at the elbow with his other arm.

"Yeah, well I don't know whether to blame that on genetics or the fact that I never found a wife that was a good cook," John joked.

"Yeah, well not from the lack of trying, huh? What's it been, four marriages?"

"Yeah, in some areas I'm a real slow learner," John said with a grin. "So you got some answers for me?

"Yeah," Jake paused a moment, and then motioning for John to sit down continued, "Sit down and I'll give you the good news."

"It's good news?" John asked.

"Yeah and I can tell you now, I wasn't sure it would be," Jake answered truthfully.

"Oh," John said trying not to reveal that he'd had the same misgivings.

"Well, yeah, an old pothead like you, I wasn't so sure you hadn't done some major damage to your reproductive health, but everything looks fine. Your sperm count is good and motility and morphology are OK. So everything looks OK for you to father this child for your friend."

"Why do I sense a but?" John asked.

"Look I know I don't exactly qualify as a close friend of yours anymore, but I still care about what happens to you," Jake paused for a moment.

"And." John said trying to coax his friend to say more.

Jake sighed. "You want to go get a drink, so we can talk some things over?"

"Don't you still have patients to see?" John asked, thinking of the patients he'd seen in the waiting room.

"Nah, anybody who's still waiting at this time of day is here to see the nurse practitioner or physician's assistant. So what do you say? How's a drink sound to you?"

"Sounds good, and Jake, you never were a close friend, but you were a good one," Munch said with a smile.

Olivia sat at a table in the back of the bar, ordered a beer and kept her eye on the front door. When she saw Casey, she waved her over. Casey caught the attention of the waitress on her way to their table and placed her order.

"So, how was your day?" Olivia asked as Casey got settled in.

"About like it always is - long, hard and frustrating," Casey answered.

"Sounds like the last time I had sex," Olivia said.

Casey laughed. "Glad I hadn't got my drink yet or I'd be snorting it out my nose."

"Glad to have made you laugh," Olivia said as the waitress brought Casey's glass of wine. "So what made you're day so miserable?" Olivia asked, hoping Casey's miseries would take her mind off her own.

"Well, for one thing I had John over for a witness prep and he was uncharacteristically distracted. You have any idea what could be bothering him?" Casey asked.

Olivia thought about how to answer, she and Casey weren't nearly as close as she and Alex had been, but she needed someone to confide in. She was fairly sure that Casey cared about John; so maybe in a way she deserved to know.

"Do you ever feel like all the things you wanted when you were a young girl are never going to be yours?" Olivia asked.

Casey wondered if Olivia's question was going to lead to an answer to her question or if it was a way of side stepping it.

"Yeah, more and more lately, seems white knights just aren't all that fond of women who prosecute sex crimes for a living," she answered morosely.

"Or women who arrest the people who commit them," Olivia added and took a pull on her bottle of beer.

"I always wanted to have a child of my own and to be a good mother to that child, of course in my mind that meant finding the right guy and getting married, but it's just not working out for me and right now about all I can hear is my biological clock," Olivia explained.

Suddenly Casey understood and a part of her was angry, but she tried to push it to the side and only let her curiosity show. "Did you ask John to father a child for you?" she asked, with just a hint of incredulity in her voice.

"Yes, which is probably why he seemed off his game. I'm sure he's thinking it over and trying to figure out how to politely tell me no," Olivia said the sadness evident in her voice.

"Well wait, what makes you think he'd say no? And why did you ask John in the first place? Why not just go with an anonymous sperm donor?" Casey asked the first couple of questions in her mind, she had more but she'd settle for answers to those.

"I don't know why I think he'd say no, maybe the fact he didn't say yes right away, but said he'd have to think about it. The reasons I don't want an anonymous sperm donor are many and complicated, but first of all I think it would be a good idea if some of my baby's genetic background were known," Casey winced internally at Olivia's comment, she should have thought of that reason herself.

"As far as asking John goes, when I realized I wanted a donor I knew, that brought the circle of possible donors down to ex-boyfriends, no way," she said emphatically, "and a few male friends, most of whom I work with. I wouldn't ask Elliot, for one thing he's already got four kids, and for another as partners our relationship is complex enough without adding a child. Fin already has a grown son, and I'm not sure that I'd need to add raising a biracial child to the difficulties of single motherhood. Although Captain Cragen's never had any children, he's too much like a father to me for it not to seem weird," Olivia listed her reason's for eliminating members of the squad.

"So that left John?" Casey prompted.

"Yes, and when I thought about it, he was the perfect choice. He's intelligent and I think his looks are compatible with mine, and while I want this child to be mine, I wouldn't mind the biological father having some contact with the child. I think with John it would be possible to work out a relationship where he could have contact with the child without our developing a romantic relationship, and without his being overly interfering in how I'm raising my child, at least I think it will be," Olivia said.

"Which part do you have doubts about?" Casey asked and she couldn't keep a hint of jealousy out of her voice.

"I won't lie to you Casey, I think there's a good reason that man's been married four times, women find it pretty easy to fall in love with him," Olivia confessed.

"But apparently not that easy to stay in love," Casey observed.

"Yeah," Olivia agreed.

"But then again, none of his wives gave him a child," Casey observed.

Look Casey, I just want to have a baby. I'm not trying to find a way to rope John into a relationship."

"I'm sorry, I don't mean to seem like I'm accusing you of that, it's just," Casey faltered.

"It's just your one of those women who has fallen for John Munch, aren't you?" Olivia asked with a smile.

Casey let out a big sigh. "Yeah, afraid so, do you think there's a cure?"

"Sure, get him alone in your office late some evening, lock the door and put your best moves on him. I suspect he'll cooperate, and then you'll either get him out of your system or have him totally under your spell, one or the other," Olivia proposed. Both women laughed.

"Either that or I'll have one hell of a sexual harassment suit on my hands," Casey noted.

Olivia tilted her head in a maybe gesture.

Jacob had insisted on taking John to his club and now john felt a little self-conscious.

"Don't worry John, you fit right in, nobody knows you're a gumshoe but you," his friend reassured him.

They ordered drinks and reminisced for a while.

"Whatever happened to that guy who you used to sell drugs with, Tony something or other?" Jake asked.

"I thought you knew, he died of an overdose," Munch answered.

"Whoa, no I didn't know that, is that what made you straighten up and fly right?"

"That and a few other things, I don't know, I suddenly realized I wasn't really in a position to make a difference in the world, but as a cop I would be. Though to be honest, I don't think I really made that much difference before, but now working in Special Victims, occasionally I do," John answered.

"Special Victims, isn't that what they also call Sex Crimes?" Jacob asked.

"Yes, though it's more than that, we also handle all assaults against children and the elderly."

"I can see how you could feel like you were doing some good there, but you must also be inundated but some of the worst cases this city has to offer," Jacob observed.

"Yeah, well everyone in my squad has done their share of sleepless nights and there is a reason they keep a shrink on the department's roll full-time."

Jacob looked at his old friend as though seeing him in a new light.

"What's the matter?" John asked.

"Nothing, I'm just trying to think which tragic Greek hero you remind me of the most."

John studied his wine glass and then took a drink from it, finding he had no witty come back to such an unexpected comment. Finally he couldn't stand the silence anymore. "Look you ever going to tell me what the but was about after you said I could father my friend child?"

"I'm just wondering if either of you have thought of all the consequences and the legal ramifications. Is she going to ask you to just make a sperm donation and walk away or will you be allowed to visit your child, acknowledge the child as yours? Does this woman work with you, if so and the paternity of the child becomes known could it cause trouble for you? What if, say a few years from now, something happens to the mother, who will take care of the baby? Will the child be your responsibility in that case? Or will the child be placed in the custody of someone who might not recognize your parental rights without a legal battle?" Jacob deluged John with questions.

"I'd thought of some of these questions to ask Olivia, but not all of them," John said obviously a little shaken by his friend's barrage of questions.

"I guess before I make this decision I need to talk to Olivia and get some more answers," John said decisively.


End file.
